Germany Turn 5: Interlude
Oberst Heyhellowhatsnew is alone in his office cleaning his maschinenkarabiner, deep in thought and grief over the latest soviet counter-offensive. When suddenly, his second in command, Oberstleutnant Lily Sloane, bursts into his office.
Oberstleutnant Lily Sloane: You son of a bitch.
Oberst Heyhellowhatsnew: This really isn’t the time!
Lily Sloane: Okay, I don’t know jack about operational warfare, but everybody out there thinks that staying here and fighting The Soviets is suicide! They’re just afraid to come in here in say it!
Heyhellowhatsnew: The crew is accustomed to following my orders.
Lily Sloane: They’re probably accustomed to your orders making sense!
Heyhellowhatsnew: None of them understand The Soviets as I do! No one does. No one can.
Lily Sloane: What is that supposed to mean?
Heyhellowhatsnew: Six years ago, they captured me and took me into their “collective”. I had their marxist documents implanted throughout my brain. I was linked to the hive mind Lenin. Every trace of individuality erased. I was one of them. So, you can imagine my dear that I have a somewhat unique perspective on The Soviets and I know how to fight them. Now, if you will excuse me, I have work to do.
Lily Sloane: I am such an idiot. It’s so simple. The Soviets hurt you, and now you’re going to hurt them back.
Heyhellowhatsnew: In our training, we don’t succumb to revenge. We ubermensch have a more evolved sensibility.
Lily Sloane: Bullshit! I saw the look on your face when you shot those Soviets in Chugulev. You were almost enjoying it!
Heyhellowhatsnew: How dare you?
Lily Sloane: Oh, come on, Oberst! You’re not the first man to get a thrill from murdering someone! I see it all the time!
Heyhellowhatsnew: GET OUT!
Lily Sloane: Or what?! You’ll kill me?! Like you killed Soldat Lynch?!
Heyhellowhatsnew: There was no way to save him.
Lily Sloane: You didn’t even try! Where was your evolved sensibility then?!
Heyhellowhatsnew: I don’t have time for this!
Lily Sloane: Oh, hey! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt your little quest. Captain Ahab has to hunt his whale. . .
Lily Sloane: You do have books at the academy. . .?
Heyhellowhatsnew: This is not about revenge. . .
Lily Sloane: Liar!
Heyhellowhatsnew: This is about saving the future of humanity from communism!
Lily Sloane: OBERST, CALL OFF THE DAMN OFFENSIVE!
Heyhellowhatsnew: NO! NOOOOOOOOO!! (smashes his Maschinenkarabiner into a glass case containing gold models of the panzer tanks) I will not sacrifice the 44th. We’ve made too many compromises already. Too many retreats. They invade our space and we fall back. They assimilate countries with communism and we fall back. Not again. The line must be drawn HE-AH! This far, no further! And I, will MAKE THEM PAY for what they’ve done!
Lily Sloane: You broke your little tanks.